Oh hi. How are you? Reading the noticeboard
huh? That’s nice, see anything good? Hey listen if you’re looking for a room
then you could come and stay with us. No, seriously. For just $120 a week you could live at our
place.
It’s a really nice house, I mean, it’s not like a mansion or anything. But only jerks live in those things
anyway right? If houses were people, then a mansion would be like Jessica
Simpson and our place would be like Cate Blanchette. Ok, well maybe not quite
that cultured and refined, and it could do with a lick of paint. Perhaps our
house would be like Cate Blanchette in ten years time, after she’s had a couple
of stiff drinks.
BACKYARD SIZE = +
x2
In layman’s terms it’s a 2 storey, 4 bedroom
Queenslander
with front and back decks and a backyard large enough for two elephants to
play a game of badminton. It’s got three bathrooms and a huge oven that
people who actually know how to cook tell me is amazing. It’s the kind of place
that real estate agents would describe as ‘charming’ ‘gorgeous’ and ‘I wish the
owners would sell this house so we could tear it down and subdivide.’
Josh wrote this.
As for its inhabitants;
Dave works in IT, but don’t start picturing sunlight fearing geek clichés. He’s
about as nerdy as Kyle Sandilands is tactful or talented. He has a hot
girlfriend and he climbs up the side of mountains all the time with his bare
hands just for fun.
As for Josh, well, not only did he write this advertisement that is currently
inspiring feelings of amusement, terror or confusion (possibly all at once),
but he’s even a real life author. Yeah, seriously, he writes those weird words
on paper things that people used to read before they invented movies and the
internet.
In conclusion:
room for rent in a 2
storey Queenslander
$120 per week
Waterworks road,
Ashgrove
PS animals are probably ok. I mean, if
you have a little dog or something it probably won’t be an issue. If you show
up with an ocelot or a north Canadian moose that might be a different story.