Category: poetry
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6 Things I Have Learned From Teaching Small Children
1 You shouldn’t be scared of lightning because it’s just God farting lasers. 2 Having hearing aids is good because when people say mean things about you, you can just turn them off. LINGUISTIC INVINCIBILITY BITCHES! 3 The reason why daddy sometimes sleeps on the couch is probably because he wets the bed. 4 In…
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Killing Adonis cover reveal
Dearest denizens of the interwebs, I am extremely incredibly tremendously and wondrously thrilled to present to you the cover of my forthcoming novel Killing Adonis. I’m hugely impressed with the team at Xou Creative as well as my publisher Pantera Press for coming up with a design that enigmatically alludes to the dark and…
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Poetry is Dead
Hello universe! Meeksounds and I are doubleplus pleased to announce our new project Poetry is Dead. We made these special supertimes deluxe poetry books with the EP hidden in the back on a USB (which you can just use as a normal flashdrive as well Bee Tea Dubs.) They took freaking ages to make. Here’s…
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I want to throw a poem at your face.
Recently I’ve been performing this poem during school workshops and the kids keep asking me for a copy so I thought I’d just put it up here for you all to grab. I’ll probably record a youtube of it when I have some spare time (2017, perhaps). It’s free and junk, but if you like it…
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A poem for Christopher Pyne
Christopher Pyne, you’ve got me pining for a time When we had an education minister with half a mind You stick to your area of expertise, I’ll stick to mine If you need an expert on education, a phone call my way would be well worth your while If I need an expert on being…
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Library
I originally wrote this poem when I was invited to do a speech to honour the opening of the Ann Christopherson library at Ipswich East primary school, and it’s been one of my favourites to perform ever since. Also, unlike most of my poetry, it’s very ‘clean,’ so it’s safe to perform for younger audiences (although…