Author: Josh
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ULTIMATE COLLABORATIONS
Recently I had the pleasure of being smacked in the face by the film RIP: a remix manifesto. I’ll leave you to investigate, remix and otherwise alter this film on your own, but it got me thinking about the nature and merits of collaboration. Have you ever been asked: ‘who would be in your ultimate…
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OPEN LETTER TO THE CREEPY GUY ACROSS THE ROAD
Hi. How are you? Yeah, listen I know we don’t really speak enough considering you live literally within a Molotov cocktail’s throw of my house but the fact is that you give me both the heebies AND the jeebies. In spades. I know, I know we’re neighbours and all that but really this is the…
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REVIEW OF A GIG I DIDN’T GO TO: TIKI TAANE @ THE HI-FI
This is a review of a gig I didn’t go to. Sure you could read someone else’s write up about Tiki Taane, which will no doubt employ adjectives such as ‘head-nodding’ ‘groovalicious’ and ‘funkifried’ (depending on the publication). But I guarantee it wouldn’t be half as entertaining as wasting valuable moments of your life reading…
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INAPPROPRIATE SHARE HOUSE BEHAVIOUR
A brief but essential guide for those making the difficult transition from solitary living to cohabitation. 1 Air guitarring way too enthusiastically. Obviously a small amount of air guitarring is permissible, nay, REQUIRED in good company. However, full on, down on your knees ‘guitar face’ soloing is highly ill advised. This goes double for head…
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REVIEW OF MY JOB INTERVIEW
First of all, I didn’t even want the stupid job anyway, okay? And no, I don’t mean that like when a girl says she’d rather have her face pressed into a sandwich grill than go to dinner with me and I say: ‘Fine, I didn’t like you anyway!’ I mean I REALLY didn’t want the…
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REVIEW OF MY EX-GIRLFRIEND’S WEDDING
The last time I wore this suit was to a funeral. Yesterday I wore it to a wedding. In many ways it’s difficult to see the difference between the two events, save for the fact that at the former I was mourning the loss of one life, whereas at yesterday’s event I mourned the loss…
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REVIEW OF EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD PART ONE
DINOSAURS BY JAKE MARSHALL DUNHILL, GRADE 2 This is my book report and my book report is bout dinosaurs. My ‘nother teacher what we had before Mrs. Majellan said that you can’t do a book report bout dinosaurs cos dinosaurs aren’t books but then I was like “but dinosaurs are IN books and everyone does…
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DEAR HAND DRYER AT THE NGV: I HATE YOU.
Yesterday I was criticised by a hand dryer. I’ve suffered a kaleidoscopic cocktail of various kinds abuse and criticism over the years from a malicious milieu of teachers, critics, random strangers and the occasional soon to be ex lover. Attracting reprimand from an inanimate bathroom appliance however, is something new even for me. Whilst drying…
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TEQUILA WORMHOLES
A few days ago, during the blurry concluding moments of a satisfactorily debaucherous party I had been hosting, we got onto the subject of quantum mechanics. Now my knowledge in this area is superficial at the best of times, (I’ve been doing some preliminary research for my next book), but at 3am after consuming most…
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PROMETHEUS VS PROGENY
Lately I’m beginning to wonder if its normal for artists to have to endure the irritating assumption that not being in a full time job is the result of some kind of personal failure rather than intent. Those who operate exclusively within the generally accepted norms of society (attire, sexual preference, religion, employment, diet etc…