JM Donellan

Author: Josh

  • Jerks vs. the internet

     Good morrow to you Sirs and Madams! If you are reading this, then you are clearly the owner of 1 x internet. Congratulations! You now have access to an incredible information network featuring 231 million pictures of cats and a tumblr site that documents Buffy outfits! Not only this but the magic of the internet…

  • Explosions in the sky

    My Dearest Qantas, My name is Josh Donellan and I am a person and, far more importantly, a Qantas frequent flyer. Recently, upon returning from India via Singapore I flew on flight QF52 which was supposed to take me to Brisbane. (Note the use of the word ‘supposed.’) I rate the customer service 4/5, the…

  • Alliance of Best Smelling Authors

        Due to mildly popular demand, I have now formed the official Alliance of Best Smelling Authors. You can visit our facebook page HERE. If you wish to be certified as a Best Smelling Author please post on the page with a description of why using words, interpretative dance, a 23 minute guitar solo…

  • New York Limes best smelling author

    Dearest Interwebs, as you are probably aware, I am an author. An author is a bit like a politician in that we are paid money to make up lies, but an author does this extremely well for almost no money whereas a politician does this very badly for lots of money and sometimes a moat.…

  • State of Origin: yet another thing that I don’t care about but apparently should

    The State of Origin, according to many people, is the most important event in human history EVER (despite the fact that it happens every year). Citizens who accuse religious types of being zealous moronic imbeciles will, at this time of year, be reduced a tiny trembling mass of tears depending on the outcome of a…

  • Why I Hate Pandas

    WARNING: A functional sense of humour is required for optimal enjoyment of the following post. If you are reading this article and feel a sense of overwhelming rage consuming you as salty discharge pours forth from your eyeholes, it is possible that you are deficient in the normal human quantities of humour and/or irony. You…

  • 100 stories release & Electric Youth

    The paperback of 100 stories for Queensland will be finally released on May 17. eMergent publishing is hosting a 'chart rush' in order to push to get the book as high on the amazon sales chart as possible. Here's a link to the facebook event, make sure you get amongst it and show the world…

  • Dearest spawn: words of wisdom for the future

    Recently I was requested to write some words of wisdom for the as yet unborn child of two of my very dear friends. Having a great deal of words but a rather appalling dearth of wisdom, I soon found myself overwhelmed by the grandiose responsibility of providing the literary form of a guiding light in…

  • FOR SALE: 1 x reincarnation of historical figure Franz Ferdinand.

    Hello the Internet. How are you today? I hope Charlie Sheen hasn't been keeping you too busy. I just thought I'd use my blog to yell into the digital universe and let you know that I'd entered this competition where you have to make a story about three objects for sale. The items this week…

  • Letter to the Editors (the UK band)

      Dear the Editors,   How are you? I am very well, thanks for asking and for also realising I was not just a spambot. Sometimes people think that and it's quite awkward, especially when it's at a cocktail party rather than an internet forum. Anyway, let's cut straight to the not boring bit shall…